The Myth of the Left!

That’s right I called it a Myth! You’re not imagining things, nor have I been dipping into the office Scotch (though don’t think I haven’t thought of it).

So then what do I mean when I say “The Myth of the Left”? Well if you’re in the know, and let’s be honest it’s not that easy to be in the know, after all it seems that the News is made up more of speculation then fact. And when the facts do come out they tend to be on page 27C, underneath the advert for herpes treatment. But if you make that extra effort and distil all that subterfuge into the truth then you may realize that the so-called Left is really just the Center.

Let me ‘esplain; There is a Right (sort of). And as Mark W. Smith goes on, and on about they have an agenda. They’re organized and work towards a common goal, we all know that. But this so-called Left is not organized, they are a mix-match of all the other ideas and opinions that are either ignored or deified by the Right. It seems easier to find a quantum theory of gravity then get this Left to advance any sort of unified agenda for anything that the public isn’t already making waves about.

Yes the so-called Left is mislabeled, they should really be called the Center. For after all they are a super juice-o-matic version of what most people want. In the case of Iraqi, or safety, or power; they just find the middle ground in the issue and try to push it thinking (and reasonably so) that this would be a good compromise. They if they can’t get peace or clean rivers they’ll slow down the death or pollution. But of course the reaction from the Right is to deify then many times do what the Center suggests.

If there really was a Left they would stand up and fight, they would have an agenda full of truly Leftist/Revolutionary ideas. They would, like those Leftist George Washington and John Hancock, be storming government halls calling for a tomorrow where everyone can get married and not have to worry about deforestation, global warming, or outsourcing of jobs to foreign sweatshops.

And for the love of Mike don’t give me any of that, that’s what they want you to think dogma. Despite what they what they might think of themselves they are not that clever. As Freud reportedly said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

So when I hear that the new 'Left Congress' did this or that, I can’t help but laugh. We’ll be lucky if the Center can even get its act together enough to figure out how to not totally lose what creditability America has left if the Middle East, let along advance any of those supposed agendas we all know they don’t have.

In short good luck to us all and I hope you’re New Years resolution has something to do with getting involved in your community, ‘cause we all know Left, Right, or Center we’re still in the same boat as last year, and it's not the oarsmen that have changed only the drummers.