Frustrated & Tired
I’m barley 3 decades old and I’m already regretting my choices in life… Well regret is a harsh word here:
re·gret ɪˈɛ - Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-gret] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -gret·ted, gret·ting, noun –verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
3. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
So let’s just say I’m frustrated with where I am. I hit the road early every morning. Sit on the same train. All of us making sure to get a seat far away from each other, so when the train gets into the city, people wall to wall, we’re far enough from our neighbors there’s no danger of getting to know them.
Yup, that’s the first 30 minuets of my morning; get to the station and get ready for the same day. See the same people and not change a damn thing in the world… ‘cept maybe a word or two.
My life isn’t even all business, I don’t hate my job. It’s legal, even vital for my company. I give back what I can on the weekends, and enjoy myself the rest of the time. But in truth it’s like this: My job is just that, a job and I’ve had a hundred just like it before. I hold no feelings for it one way or the other, it doesn’t challenge me. It doesn’t change my view on life or society. It doesn’t even affect my moral choices, just my financial ones. And a life without a challenge 40 hours a week, well it makes me lazy and tired.
Tired of just being the same cog in the same machine every day and too lazy to do more about it then criticize advertising when it fails to drill it message properly into our brains. I then smoke and drink and worry my grind into drams not worthy of TiVoing on a Friday night.
Weather it’s spending time in soup kitchens or in election offices the frustrating thing is, if I don’t waste my time with all this cannon fodder then what can I do to forget how little my actions influence the track my country’s on?
And what’s left of me without these distractions, these excesses? Just another tired and frustrated young urban professional living in a country who’s struggles have evolved from physical to spiritual. Who’s morals are not lost or forgotten but straining under the pressure of our Speed Racer Cultural. Dazed, just like us who live in this great and powerful country that much of the world sees as evil. We have no rivals in power or influence. If Joe Strummer wrote “I’m so bored with the
No one country in the world today has our political, economic, or cultural influence yet the average American has little influence on in his own countries actions. He or she is just an equation on some spread sheet, some Nielsen Rating on a corporate dry-erase board. So yeah I’m frustrated.
Frustrated at our ease of living, of corporate pitfalls, of possessions, of creditors and college loans… I’m a 30 year old yuppie with the world at my feet and the taste of victory on my lips. But that taste isn’t ambrosia, it’s ink from the contract I signed for an education. It’s red Powerade and it’s making me hungry for money not life.
And I’m so tired of Powerade, TGIF, Monday Night Football and Skinamax. I want something to fill that void I pour my one weekend a month, sit-coms and liquor into. I want something real to believe in. Something that challenges me, that makes me feel part of my world not just a cog in the ex-machina… I want to feel that no matter how frustrated I am with my life I’m never tried of living it.
Let my body be tired, but let my soul be full of hope. The hope you get from a strangers smile on the subway, a helping hand to get you to your feet or a good conversation. The hope you get when like minded people vote for a better world.
Maybe I’ve just been Frustrated and Tried for too long but I just want more then excess and easy living from check to check in Free Market America.
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