Frustration Leads to Writing

I am confused. I am lost. I am stagnant.
I am all those things and more.

I have been living in neutral since college.

That's not to say I haven't done. I have. I have done many things and been many places. Yes I have done. I just haven't moved on. I have grown beyond my borders, but I haven't become.

I am still frightened of life, maybe now more then eva because I can see the realities that were beyond the borders of my youth. The death. The inhumanity. The fear of living that surrounds adults. That bestows power upon men like Ridge, Goering, or Robespierre.

I fear.

And fear does lead us all down roads which break us apart… a wise man once talked about fear as a demon that infests (wo)men's hearts… that all of us fear.

That the unknown is why we create. Why we study. Why we build. To take control of the that fear. To win against it. But that kind of control is an illusion. A myth.

It is a story we tell our children at night, like the Three Little Pigs or Paul Bunyan.
It is King Arthur and his Knights of peace and justice. It is a Myth.

And as with all myths, the truth, the fear, is buried deep inside it.

The only real control we have is in our actions. It is that control that gives us power. It is here that we can conquer those fears. And it is only here where we can build a world not of Congressional hearings on UnAmerican Affairs, or UnFrancisms, or whateva guise you hide your fear in.

It is only here where we can embrace the unknown.

In creation I am Stagnant. In the world I am Lost. In life I am Confused.

But I try.

I push at my borders. I try to be brave. I try to be strong. for me, for you, for us all.

I claim no divine knowledge, and wish for none.
I claim no monopoly on pain or fear. I am only a traveler, like you.

But I try… to become more.